Dr Proctor’s blog

What do you think is the most important decisions that are person must make in their lifetime? Many would say career and school but I think that is down the list. Would you not agree that your decision to follow Christ would be the most important followed by choosing who you will marry? I mean marriage is a permanent thing for life. Okay, is divorce possible? Yes, but what God brings together let no man separate. It is the second most important decision of your life and yet people do not put every much effort and work into that decision. Now many people date constantly, but did you ever notice that people usually go to counseling or classes for relationships after they are engaged or married. The knot is already tied if you have given your vows. How many people actually get Godly advice before even dating? I doubt very many. How can you find something if you do not know what you are looking for?

2nd Corinthians 6:14-16 (NIV):
Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: "I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be
my people."

The word "yoked" means "bound". I think that is a stronger relationship than a friendship that Paul is talking about here. We are called to befriend those who have not accepted Christ as their Savior. When it comes to such agreements as marriage which binds two people together, we are told to only bind with our fellow believers. 

The Old Testament is like a old version of Windows for a computer. God once made a covenant with the house of Israel and gave them laws to live by. After Jesus saved us through His death and resurrection, God made a new covenant with all men and gave them laws. Now many people think he changed the laws of the Old Testament in the New Testament. I think it is better to see it as an update. He gave us a new version of the old laws. The laws still are in place but in a different way just like how Windows XP is an updated version of Windows 2000.

Israel was commanded in Deuteronomy 7:3-4 "Do not intermarry with them. Do not give your daughters to their sons or take their daughters for your sons, for they will turn your sons away from following me to serve other gods, and the Lord's anger will burn against you and will quickly destroy you." An Israelite was not to marry anyone outside the nation of Israel unless that person decided to follow the Lord and become an Israelite. This is shown throughout the Old Testament. Israel, as many know, came from one family. They were all direct descendents of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Jacob was renamed Israel and so the nation was given the same name. In Exodus, they are referred to as the children of Israel. This was probably more of a reference to Jacob rather than the nation since it was not even thought of at that time.

In Genesis 2, the Lord made man but soon noticed he was alone and decided to find suitable helper for him. Since there were none among the animals suitable enough to help the man, the Lord made woman from the man's rib. Therefore a man and woman would come back together through marriage and become one flesh as they were in creation. Who noticed the man was lonely? God noticed the need and filled it Himself.  Remember this note because we will come back to it later.

As I said before, Abraham and his descendant were all command to marry within their family. It was also tradition for a person’s spouse to be chosen by their parents. It would be a little scary to have my parent pick out a woman for me to marry. Abraham chose Isaac’s wife and Laban chose Jacob to marry his two daughters who became mothers of the Israelites. Before them, Abraham’s wife was chosen by his father and so forth all the way back to the first man. As history went on, we find Ruth who lived in Moab with her husband and his family.  Her husband and his family were Israelite but did not live in the land. Ruth herself did not meet the requirements of a spouse for an Israelite. When her husband and father-in-law died, she decided to go with her mother-in-law, Naomi, and travel to Israel. It was at this time that Ruth decided to worship the God of the Jews. Once they reached Bethlehem and settled down, Ruth took care of her mother-in-law. She met a man named Boaz, who was a distant relative of Naomi's. She ended up marrying him and become an ancestor of King David and Jesus. The main point of Ruth’s story is that if she had not become a Israelite and worshiped God, then most likely Boaz would not have married her.

In every situation above, both spouses were followers of God and/or Israelites, and usually their marriage was chosen by their parents. This concept is very weird to our culture. We think that our fathers could not choose the right person. But think about it. Isaac's wife was chosen by Abraham. Abraham's wife was chosen by his father all the way back to Adam, who's wife was chosen by his Father. You maybe should not depend on your earthly father to choose your spouse, but why shouldn't you wait for your Heavenly Father to choose him/her. You do not have to date all the time to find your one person. Honestly, it gets annoying to be single for many people, but maybe we need to focus our view on our relationship with God and as that relationship grows God will supply our need for a companion. You may believe that you are ready for a partner, but does God say you are ready because honestly God know you better than you know yourself. Why should you worry about an earthly relationship if your relationship with the Creator is not strong? Your earthly relationships should be founded on your relationship with Christ, but that cannot happen if your relationship with Christ is suffering.

Work on your relationship with the Creator and Provider and when He believes you are ready and strong, he will give you a relationship that will last a lifetime. I am not saying that you should never date anyone, but God knows what is best for you. A relationship with another human comes after you have built you relationship with Him.